This is just a quick note to reveal yet another attempt by the hedgehogs to help stave off planetary annihilation. It is not that long ago that the Big Issue carried on its front cover the bold claim ‘Save the Hedgehog, Save the World’. I had brazenly purloined that from Heroes – and feel that it is more important when attached to hedgehogs, not cheerleaders. My favourite bit about the cover was that the following was pushed over to the margins, to make way for me and the hedgehogs – ‘Obama and me, Desmond Tutu speaks’ –  I had managed to marginalise two of the most important people on the planet!

But now, even more serious, hedgehogs are back.

There is a plan by the current government to help maintain our standing in the world by buying large bombs. They want to replace the Trident nuclear missile system with something even snazzier. It is a bit like a poorly endowed middle aged man buying an expensive sports car – he sits in it thinking he is cool while everyone around him is thinking of a joke … what is the difference between a hedgehog and a Ferrari/Porsche/Range Rover etc etc …. the hedgehog has its pricks on the outside … boom boom (goes the trident replacement).

So, the UK is trying to maintain its geopolitical standing with go-faster stripes and the loud revving threats of – ‘don’t mess with me or I will drive me car very fast at you and kill you’ – because that is what would happen if we entered into a nuclear exchange – we would all die.

But it is not just about the absurdity of this stance – there is also the cost. Whether it is a sports car of a new nuclear missile system, these things don’t come cheap. And in the case of Trident, we are looking at £97 billion pound. Banks and bombs – always money for banks and bombs … but what else could that money be spent on? A very interesting question, and one that Greenpeace has asked my dearly beloved to ask many many people – and feed the resulting films up onto a video wall … there is a great range of opinion – from a retired General (who thinks that troops could do with proper kit rather more than a very big bomb that they will not use) through to George Monbiot, George Marshall Alastair McGowan and a host of others who have very good ideas about how to spend that money. And me … I point out that just one millionth of that figure would help us to find an answer to the problem of declining hedgehog numbers in the UK and around the world – so by funding research into the complexities of life, rather than funding arms manufacturers to destroy life, the world would be a much better place. So, see what the hedgehog says on the video wall – and vote for your favourite … no pressure now!

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